This week it hit me – I am dedicating a portion of my life to something that may very well never work out. Every day that I write I never know if anyone else’s eyes but my own will see my work. All of this time, energy and creation for what? Did I take a year off to journal?
I’ve been mulling this over for a few days now and as I was brushing my teeth this morning staring down my own self in the mirror I finally caught a glimpse of the truth.
We are all doing things in blind faith. Each of us. Everyday.
We exercise and eat well hoping it will help us both look better and live longer.Â
We love our partners/friends/family unconditionally and work hard to grow these relationships.
We raise children hoping they will grow to be incredible little humans who make the world a better place.Â
We go to work each day hoping to grow professionally, or at least hoping to not get fired.
We scour new recipes, buy hard to find ingredients and slide the dough into the oven and wait.
What’s the truth behind each of these expereinces?
The results are not guaranteed.
But we know all of this already, don’t we? We’ve experienced disappointments. We’ve thrown out that cake, lost a love, grown apart from a friend and left a job. We’ve tried to eat healthy and gained a few pounds, and we’ve all met an asshole who was a cute baby at some point.
So how do we keep pouring all of our energy, love and life into things when we know the outcome is unpredictable?
How? By understanding that the outcome doesn’t matter. It really doesn’t.
I get up everyday and I write and it makes me happy. I enjoy sitting here and hearing the click of the keys underneath my fingers. I love looking over at Parker curled up wherever the ray of sun happens to hit the floor at that moment. I love hearing the door unlock, knowing that David is home from work and I especially love when it’s timed just right so that he walks into a house smelling like a great meal is in his near future.
Whether or not my book ever appears as a ‘Heather’s Pick’ will not take away from these small moments of pure joy.
Sometimes we are so focused on the outcome that we forget why we began something in the first place. Take notice how something makes you feel today and let the unknown of tomorrow go. You will be happier.
I may never lose 10 pounds. I may grow apart from a friend. I might not get published. But I will love eating that cream-cheese filled cupcake. I will always laugh at old stories involving old friends. I will continue to click away on this keyboard until this manuscript is finished. What happens in the end does not diminish the moments in between the start and finish.
Hell, this all came to me while brushing my teeth and I might still get a cavity.
Nadine Hogan 
This post was very inspiring, really brings home the point that ‘we only live in the present’, as Baron of Beef would say it. I was wondering if you could continue journaling, or blogging, past this 1-year sabbatical, as it makes a big difference in my life to read your posts every day… your make the ordinary looks lie … extraordinary actually! Thank you for your inspiring words.
I love your comments, Ana. Thank-you. xx
hi precious, this is an ah ha moment for u, it is about the journey , u have to take what it is for this point in time n enjoy, do ur best like u always do, follow ur dreams cause we only get one go around. remember the little fly in my window who flapped his wings furiously to get the momentum to fly, not knowing if he’d get the chance to actually do it? he tried ,he was ready if the chance came, that’s the point !! blind faith . luved this piece luv u more momma