Change is the only permanent, right? Change is good. Change is positive and change leads to new things, ideas, experiences and adventures. I embrace change – as long as it pertains to me.
I’ve always prided myself on how I deal with change. I love it, I really do. Even when the circumstances are extremely difficult I can usually see the positive side to my life swinging upside down and I might be crying on the bathroom floor but between tears I KNOW things will work out for the best. I think to myself, “Change, I got this. I got you. Who’s your daddy, change?”
But there’s an ugly-sister-side to me that I kind of hate to share, and that is the difficulty I have when others change around me. Ughhh, can’t you all just stay the same?
People change as much as me, which seems reasonable enough until it actually affects me. Friendships ebb and flow, children are had, moves are taken and jobs are demanding. I’m 36 and the friends I had when I was in my 20’s have changed just as much as I have – and sometimes not with me. Which really is hard.
The people in my world mean everything to me. Once I make a connection I assume you’re a lifer. If you’re in my life chances are I’m attached to you – in a very un-yogi way I might add.
But I’m admitting that I find it hard when you change. Your new role as a mother, wife, business partner or entrepreneur has changed you as much as my new roles have changed me, and even though we may seem to be drifting I’m going to learn how to let you grow different from who you were and love you all the more for it. I’m going to realize that while I embrace my new roles as a yoga teacher and writer, divorcee and newly partnered woman, those changes can also scare the hell out of you and make you wonder who I’ve grown to be.
I am still the same while morphing into something so much more fulfilled and content. The same as you I am going to guess.
Instead of fighting the opposite paths we have taken, I’m going to allow my world to broaden by walking in your shoes every now and then and appreciating what it is that drew you a little away from who we used to be. We are not who we were, but why do I make that a negative thing?
My new friendships are based in commonalities. You love yoga and The Manx tofu tacos? Why yes, let’s hang out every Friday night from now until forever. But the truth is they are based on much more than that or I’d bail on you the second Friday in. We found each other through commonalities but we connect much deeper and we quickly learn that. But while new friends seem to relate to the new me better than some older friends do, I know that these friendships will also ebb and flow. People will move, add to families, change interests and start new careers. Life will take over and how we connect right now will forever develop and take new shapes.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m learning to let go but still feel connected. I’m learning that while I saw my ‘best friends’ daily in my 20’s, I see strangers on their yoga mats more than most of my friends who live within a 15 minute driving distance from my house. Life takes over and it’s not a bad thing. It’s life.
We cannot grasp onto each other as tightly as I once believed we could. Nor do we need to. A firm grip doesn’t make a solid friendship. Sometimes the strength comes from knowing we can let go a little and trust that while your hand isn’t in reaching distance, it’s always there to hold mine if and when I need it.