Day 2 at my new job is going fairly well. It’s a bizarre feeling to begin to work for yourself – no alarm, no ‘work’ email to check and no manager to update on progress.
Yesterday I woke early with a giddy, knotted feeling in my stomach. The official ‘Day 1’ of this leap year of mine. I lay there and let the realization of what I’ve done sink in. I felt lucky but also overwhelmed. Anxiousness and excitement filled me up in equal parts.
Welcome to my inner dialogue at that moment:
“I don’t have a job anymore.”
“Yes you do, Nadine.”
“No, I don’t. I’ve quit. It’s finished. I don’t have any co-workers, I don’t have a manager, I don’t have a head office and I don’t have a paycheck. But I do have unlimited vacation…focus, Nadine, focus.”
“Yes, you have a job. You clearly have a job. Remember you wanted to write and teach yoga.”
“But how do I do that?”
“By doing exactly what it is you are doing. Now get up and begin.”
And so I did.
I am constantly reminded of one of my favourite quotes of all time from Martin Luther King Jr.:
“Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.”
I may not see my whole year planned out in front of me, but I can see today. I can see my first step. Even if that first step is re-organizing my new head office, conveniently located across the hall from my bedroom, it is a step in the right direction.
This leap year will be a challenge for sure, but I remind myself that while it may seem hard to keep taking blind steps, it’s even harder to follow someone else’s path.
This year I’m going to carve out my own – step by step, day by day.